Don't Be That Women!

Disclaimer: This message is meant to enlighten an not offend. However, it may come off offensive.

So you have accomplish your ultimate goal of getting that man by any means necessary. Not only have you broken a relationship, you have ruin a family, you have wrecked a home, you pretty much tornado through a lifestyle without blinking an eye. And all you have to show for it is a man. A man who was willing to allow this to happen.

What do you have to say for yourself? Let me guess, "obviously it must not be her man I have him!" or is it, "I'm not married to her. He is responsible for her heart break". Silly rabbit... This is not an accomplishment. This is a sign of desperation, a cry for help, an indication of low self-esteem.
    
Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! What makes you so special. Is it the curve in your hips, the sway in your hair, or the tone in your voice? Is it the grace in your walk the sparkle in your eye, or the confidence in your talk. What makes you so different? Or is it the fact that you have not developed out of what Erickson coined the "id development stage" where your life's mission is just to please yourself. 

I say this because you find a lot of women who think "oh he won't treat me like that". This statement always seems to come after a start of a new relationship that ended a previous relationship. Understand this, patterns of behavior rarely change. Do you understand the definition of loyalty, fidelity, respect?! If this is how your relationship started, how do you think it will end? If this is how your relationship started, how do you trust this person?

I guess I am only saying... make your life easier. Get your own man! If he is taken now, then maybe he will be available later with no strings attached. If not,  then maybe he is not the one for you. Have you ever thought about that in this light? First, what goes around comes around, and the funny thing is karma has a way to get you when you least expect it.

One more thing, this message is not for women who were in these situation unknowingly. Love yourself enough to have someone who loves you enough to keep your mind, body, and soul at ease. When you find that special someone and you are not preoccupied with the notion of a possible accidental affair, your love life will be free to soar. Trust Me!

Once again, don't be mad. Just Don't Be That Woman!       

When Keeping it "Real" Goes Wrong!

A couple years ago Dave Chappelle had a skit reference the all too common phrases "I'm just keeping it real!". What's so funny is that when we say "I'm just keeping it real" it is an excuse to be rude, ghetto, or simply out-of-control. Don't get me wrong we all have done this. Some people need to be put into their place. Some people do not realize that they are out of place; and some people simply need a reality check! But sometimes this can go so wrong.

The level of realness has to be quantified to the reality check. If some one cuts you off in the streets DO NOT! I repeat DO NOT! follow this person to their destination. You don't have to share your feelings with them. You do not have to let them know You Are Not The One! Let it go. Don't stress yourself out or catch a case. It's not going to be cool when you are applying for a job and your future employer runs a background check. If and when they ask you what was the charge for. Is your answer going to be "I was just keeping it real"?

Surprisingly this scenario is all too common. We have to learn how to practice self-control. Keeping it "real" is a way to take control. However, if your emotions are not in check, you will end up looking more like a "real" fool. Handle your business with class and sophistication.

Don't be afraid to live the single life!

It has been said that in order for someone to love you, you have to love yourself. But if you were to meet yourself would You like You. Answer this question honestly. If the answer is no, figure out why. Date yourself, know yourself, make a commitment to yourself before making room for someone else.

If you are a person who must be in a relationship and cannot stand to be alone; you may need to evaluate this. Being single allows you to understand your wants and needs. It allows you to be selfish and only be concern with self-preservation. I know these things sound selfish but knowing who you are allows you to maintain your identity when you are in a committed relationship.

So don't be afraid to be single. Embrace the single life. Being in a relationship can and will compromise who you are, and if you are not ready to compromise than do not force your heart into something your mind cannot handle.

A Few Good Men.....

You hear this statement all the time "that there are only a few good men". How true is that? It's pretty sad to be a women in this day and age if this statement is true. Where can all the good men be found? And once you find him what do you have to do to keep him?

As women, we have been told to hold men to a certain standard. However, when do we know when to compromise; when to use our bargaining skills; when do we just let them have their way or to let him have it. These are the never answered questions that can drive a man away if answered incorrect. Or on the other hand, keep him in the pocket if these questions are mastered.

One thing men do not know, it's tricky being a woman. We have to be bendable but not breakable; flexible but not too lenient; and a host of other oxymorons that only make sense to the woman who is putting on this performance. This is crazy right!!!

To add to this madness, we have to do all this without losing who we are in the process. All you men out there here's a little secret. If you call a woman crazy, more times then not, it is in the result of your actions.

So to all those good men, make your presence known. There is a good woman out there waiting to snatch you up. Ladies hopefully that last statement won't scare them.

What do you think? I would love to hear some feedback!

Love Who You Are!

Do you appreciate your life? When you wake up in the morning are you thankful for another day? When you are having a bad day, do you think about all the things that are going right in your life?

Think about this, everyday you should do something, say something, or even think something that will make that day memorable. Put a smile on someone's face by telling them how great they are. You will be surprise how good this makes you feel. Express to your love ones how much they mean to you through your actions by spending time with them.

Look in the mirror. You are awesome! Live in the present; but plan for your future. Cherish every moment in "the now" because you will never know when "the now" will turn into "the end".

Not My Child.....

This bullying thing is getting way out of control. One parent took a stand. Check it out.

                                       Furious father confronts local bully.

Answer the following assessment questions.

1.) How can you tell if a child is being bullied?

2.) What would you do if your child was being bullied?

3.) How would you prevent this situation from turning into a suicide?

4.) Who would you hold responsible?

The answer to each question should start with YOU! You need to notice a change in your child's behavior. Know what is going on in their lives. Know who their friends are; who they are dating; who are their enemies.

If you find out that they are being bullied, end it. Make your presence known to the bullies. Go to the school, speak to their teacher, set a time to meet the bullies parents. Stop waiting for someone else to do something. You are the parent! What do you think lioness and mother bears do! Do not loose your child because the teachers or the school did not prevent this from happening! Take some initiative.

If you cannot stand up for your child... then who will!


How do you feel?

Child Support.... the baby mama come up or what!?

"Everything was good when we were together. Now that we are seperated she acts like I don't do anything for my child." stated by an anonymous disgruntled father.

The good, the bad, the child support. When child support rears it's ugly head it's accompanied by a bad reputation. But guys, really ask yourself is it as bad as you say. On one hand, you have a tool use to help obtain monies to support children. These monies can be deducted from a man/woman's check (more than likely a man) or voluntarily paid. However, either way, you know that you have done your part. Adversely, the men that I have talked to feel the same way as the anonymous father. The thought is why should someone tell them how to take care of their children.

This is were the problem comes in and women can be the catalyst that ignites this fire. To all of those women trying to make a quick buck... if you have a man who is about his business and takes care of his children, STOP LYING! Stop telling the friend of the court that he is not a good father. This system is set up for men who are inadequate fathers; men who think about themselves first and their children never. These men should be held to the fire.

Men understand this, all guys are not stand up. So the system is needed. So don't speak for them all; you are dealing with a personal vendetta. Not all women have a agenda. So try to
relax when you hear the words "child support". And if you feel that the system is still playing you, you may want to get some legal advice.

Listen up, your children are watching you. You are influencing how they are going to interact in future relationships. You have to be a GREAT example. Fight for your children's best interest when it best for them and not when you are projecting your form of bitter revenge.