Breakthrough the Status Quote

It time to get empowered! Starting today make a pledge to yourself that you will be successful. Education is a lifetime commitment. The importance of learning should be installed in the minds of children as early as their first cognitive decision. This is evident through commercials that advertise teaching your child how to read at a early age.

This commitment must continue throughout your adulthood. Do not be afraid to go back to school to change your career. According to an article located on the CBS website, Just 45 Percent of U.S. Workers are Satisfied with Their Jobs (click here to view article). This is sad. We spend the majority of our lives at our jobs and at least we need to be satisfied.

If you are not happy in your position; it is time to make a change. If you are calling the place you work at a job and not a career; it is time to make a change. If you feel you have more to offer to society and your potential is not being utilized; it is time to make a change. If you are a lawyer and you feel you would be great as a teacher; go for it! Who said you cannot make a late career change.

A lot of times we get trapped or forced into these career fields because at the time we were in need of a job; we made the wrong decision in college; or we never received the education necessary to have the career we always dreamed of. Whatever the reason, if the time has come to make that change, then lets breakthrough the status quo!

Don't Box Me In!

Republican Party, Democratic Party, and Independents listen up! Stop trying to box us in. Stop trying to force feed us this non-sense about my social beliefs, my religion, and my love for this country!  Just because I believe that health care should be mandated does not mean I am a socialist. Just because I believe in God does not make me a religious zealot or fanatic.  Just because I want change for our country does not mean I do not love my country.

We are forced into these little statically categories in order to predict our votes.  Since patterns rarely change, the statical data is turn into reality. This is why Republicans candidates don't run for office in Detroit or even campaign in the city. There is a belief that Detroiters are not educated voters, and our track record is proving this statement true. People it's time to wake up. Our representatives are not representing us.

For example, look at the City of Detroit.  The Democratic Party has been running Detroit for over 20 years. What do we have to show for it?  Corruption is running ramped; the school system is worthless; and economic growth is a joke that you tell in a bar.  However; if a person  ran under another party the chance of them winning Mayor in the city of Detroit is slim to none.  But we voted in several scrupulous people without blinking an eye.

Lets get educated!  Lets change the world!  Lets not let our Four Fathers down! Vote according to what is more beneficial to the city, state, and/or country.  Lets not replace a good political agenda with a popularity contest.

Momma's Boy or Insecure Woman...

So you find yourself in a battle. It is the challenge of your life and its titled in lights MOM vs. WIFE and all odds are in her favor. To add to this misery you realized that you have married a man that some would consider a “mama’s boy”; and you want him to change?  Good luck with that!

Now what is a girl to do? Well first, take a deep breath because it is time to face reality. This relationship with his mother has been established for years, it will be almost impossible to correct directly. His mother is the woman that has been there and has proven herself countless times. Now little "ole you" has come in an disrupt the "BEE's HIVE". So you need to take a different approach.

Understand this, your husband feels there’s no woman above his mother; and she does not respect you. To change his way of thinking, you must change the way she thinks of you. So first, you have to establish a “relationship” with your mother-in-law.  Invite her to do lunch. Go on a shopping spree. Take her to get her nails done. Or simply, ask her what are her interests and plan accordingly.

Your goal is to make her see that you are wonderful. Yes! It’s ridiculous! I know it will not be easy! Take one for your marriage or the future of your relationship! This new found “friendship” will eliminate a lot of conflicts between you and your mother-in-law (future). Ultimately, bringing you closer to your husband; and at the end of the day, he may see you from a different perspective.

The Harsh Reality: This man did not turn into a momma’s boy overnight. You knew the type of man you married. Hold yourself accountable. Take time to find your value and stop competing with his mom.   

Don't Be That Women!

Disclaimer: This message is meant to enlighten an not offend. However, it may come off offensive.

So you have accomplish your ultimate goal of getting that man by any means necessary. Not only have you broken a relationship, you have ruin a family, you have wrecked a home, you pretty much tornado through a lifestyle without blinking an eye. And all you have to show for it is a man. A man who was willing to allow this to happen.

What do you have to say for yourself? Let me guess, "obviously it must not be her man I have him!" or is it, "I'm not married to her. He is responsible for her heart break". Silly rabbit... This is not an accomplishment. This is a sign of desperation, a cry for help, an indication of low self-esteem.
    
Ladies! Ladies! Ladies! What makes you so special. Is it the curve in your hips, the sway in your hair, or the tone in your voice? Is it the grace in your walk the sparkle in your eye, or the confidence in your talk. What makes you so different? Or is it the fact that you have not developed out of what Erickson coined the "id development stage" where your life's mission is just to please yourself. 

I say this because you find a lot of women who think "oh he won't treat me like that". This statement always seems to come after a start of a new relationship that ended a previous relationship. Understand this, patterns of behavior rarely change. Do you understand the definition of loyalty, fidelity, respect?! If this is how your relationship started, how do you think it will end? If this is how your relationship started, how do you trust this person?

I guess I am only saying... make your life easier. Get your own man! If he is taken now, then maybe he will be available later with no strings attached. If not,  then maybe he is not the one for you. Have you ever thought about that in this light? First, what goes around comes around, and the funny thing is karma has a way to get you when you least expect it.

One more thing, this message is not for women who were in these situation unknowingly. Love yourself enough to have someone who loves you enough to keep your mind, body, and soul at ease. When you find that special someone and you are not preoccupied with the notion of a possible accidental affair, your love life will be free to soar. Trust Me!

Once again, don't be mad. Just Don't Be That Woman!       

When Keeping it "Real" Goes Wrong!

A couple years ago Dave Chappelle had a skit reference the all too common phrases "I'm just keeping it real!". What's so funny is that when we say "I'm just keeping it real" it is an excuse to be rude, ghetto, or simply out-of-control. Don't get me wrong we all have done this. Some people need to be put into their place. Some people do not realize that they are out of place; and some people simply need a reality check! But sometimes this can go so wrong.

The level of realness has to be quantified to the reality check. If some one cuts you off in the streets DO NOT! I repeat DO NOT! follow this person to their destination. You don't have to share your feelings with them. You do not have to let them know You Are Not The One! Let it go. Don't stress yourself out or catch a case. It's not going to be cool when you are applying for a job and your future employer runs a background check. If and when they ask you what was the charge for. Is your answer going to be "I was just keeping it real"?

Surprisingly this scenario is all too common. We have to learn how to practice self-control. Keeping it "real" is a way to take control. However, if your emotions are not in check, you will end up looking more like a "real" fool. Handle your business with class and sophistication.

Don't be afraid to live the single life!

It has been said that in order for someone to love you, you have to love yourself. But if you were to meet yourself would You like You. Answer this question honestly. If the answer is no, figure out why. Date yourself, know yourself, make a commitment to yourself before making room for someone else.

If you are a person who must be in a relationship and cannot stand to be alone; you may need to evaluate this. Being single allows you to understand your wants and needs. It allows you to be selfish and only be concern with self-preservation. I know these things sound selfish but knowing who you are allows you to maintain your identity when you are in a committed relationship.

So don't be afraid to be single. Embrace the single life. Being in a relationship can and will compromise who you are, and if you are not ready to compromise than do not force your heart into something your mind cannot handle.

A Few Good Men.....

You hear this statement all the time "that there are only a few good men". How true is that? It's pretty sad to be a women in this day and age if this statement is true. Where can all the good men be found? And once you find him what do you have to do to keep him?

As women, we have been told to hold men to a certain standard. However, when do we know when to compromise; when to use our bargaining skills; when do we just let them have their way or to let him have it. These are the never answered questions that can drive a man away if answered incorrect. Or on the other hand, keep him in the pocket if these questions are mastered.

One thing men do not know, it's tricky being a woman. We have to be bendable but not breakable; flexible but not too lenient; and a host of other oxymorons that only make sense to the woman who is putting on this performance. This is crazy right!!!

To add to this madness, we have to do all this without losing who we are in the process. All you men out there here's a little secret. If you call a woman crazy, more times then not, it is in the result of your actions.

So to all those good men, make your presence known. There is a good woman out there waiting to snatch you up. Ladies hopefully that last statement won't scare them.

What do you think? I would love to hear some feedback!

Love Who You Are!

Do you appreciate your life? When you wake up in the morning are you thankful for another day? When you are having a bad day, do you think about all the things that are going right in your life?

Think about this, everyday you should do something, say something, or even think something that will make that day memorable. Put a smile on someone's face by telling them how great they are. You will be surprise how good this makes you feel. Express to your love ones how much they mean to you through your actions by spending time with them.

Look in the mirror. You are awesome! Live in the present; but plan for your future. Cherish every moment in "the now" because you will never know when "the now" will turn into "the end".

Not My Child.....

This bullying thing is getting way out of control. One parent took a stand. Check it out.

                                       Furious father confronts local bully.

Answer the following assessment questions.

1.) How can you tell if a child is being bullied?

2.) What would you do if your child was being bullied?

3.) How would you prevent this situation from turning into a suicide?

4.) Who would you hold responsible?

The answer to each question should start with YOU! You need to notice a change in your child's behavior. Know what is going on in their lives. Know who their friends are; who they are dating; who are their enemies.

If you find out that they are being bullied, end it. Make your presence known to the bullies. Go to the school, speak to their teacher, set a time to meet the bullies parents. Stop waiting for someone else to do something. You are the parent! What do you think lioness and mother bears do! Do not loose your child because the teachers or the school did not prevent this from happening! Take some initiative.

If you cannot stand up for your child... then who will!


How do you feel?

Child Support.... the baby mama come up or what!?

"Everything was good when we were together. Now that we are seperated she acts like I don't do anything for my child." stated by an anonymous disgruntled father.

The good, the bad, the child support. When child support rears it's ugly head it's accompanied by a bad reputation. But guys, really ask yourself is it as bad as you say. On one hand, you have a tool use to help obtain monies to support children. These monies can be deducted from a man/woman's check (more than likely a man) or voluntarily paid. However, either way, you know that you have done your part. Adversely, the men that I have talked to feel the same way as the anonymous father. The thought is why should someone tell them how to take care of their children.

This is were the problem comes in and women can be the catalyst that ignites this fire. To all of those women trying to make a quick buck... if you have a man who is about his business and takes care of his children, STOP LYING! Stop telling the friend of the court that he is not a good father. This system is set up for men who are inadequate fathers; men who think about themselves first and their children never. These men should be held to the fire.

Men understand this, all guys are not stand up. So the system is needed. So don't speak for them all; you are dealing with a personal vendetta. Not all women have a agenda. So try to
relax when you hear the words "child support". And if you feel that the system is still playing you, you may want to get some legal advice.

Listen up, your children are watching you. You are influencing how they are going to interact in future relationships. You have to be a GREAT example. Fight for your children's best interest when it best for them and not when you are projecting your form of bitter revenge.

Myth Or Fact

All Men Cheat.....

I have just heard recently that men are going to cheat no matter what. I personally disagree with this statement. Accepting this statement allows men to have leeway to take advantage of the emotions of a women. Our men are better than what this statement gives them credit for.

We as women must be able to decipher through the nonsense. We cannot allow society to continue to conform our way of thinking. Stop accepting the common thought process. Require your man to be a stand up guy. As it has been if you do not stand for something you may fall for anything. 

 Myth or Fact. What do you think?

God did not say "let there be stress"

Put your stress to the side. Life will throw daggers at you, and as you think you have everything under control, a tidal wave of more stressors will emerge.

The best way to handle your stress is to fortify your mind, body, and soul. Strengthen your mind by loving who you are. You are who you are. Accept it; and tell everyone else to do the same.

Strengthen your soul by knowing you can handle whatever comes your way. You have a few ways of handling all situations. You can stress out and do nothing or stress out while you handle the situation. I suggest two things, handle everything with a smile, knowing you will get it done, or don't handle it at all. Disassociate yourself from your current circumstances, either way you will get the same result minus the stress.

Strengthen your body by eating right and exercising. A healthy body will fortify you against diseases onset by stress. Keep your body active. Sometimes you just have to "walk it out". Take the "Heart Smart" route. Park further from the shopping mall or grocery store. Take the stairs. Avoid using your car for short distances. Get your blood pumping!

I know these suggestions sound easier said then done, but if you focus on trying these things at least you are not focused on your stress.