The Pre-requisites of Love

It has once been said that in order for you to love someone else you would have to love yourself first. But if you were to meet yourself would you like you? If the answer is no, admit it to yourself and figure out why? Learn who you are by dating yourself, loving yourself, finally make a commitment to yourself. Accomplish all of this first before making room for someone else.

Things that make you go hmm...

Examine yourself. Give yourself the once over. Are you applying yourself? Are you using your mind effectively? Stop having someone think for you! Take a plunge, use your brain or lose your brain.

"A Pure Player"

Tom Izzo, coach of the Michigan State basketball team, was asked what type of player does he look to recruit. His respond was "a pure player". He elaborated by saying, "not the greatest player but a a player who truly loves the game. Someone who is willing to give his all to the game."

Now my question to you is, "Are you a pure player?" Just like in a game, in life you have your spectators, bench players, 6th men, and starters. What category do you fall into? Do you live up to your greatest potential? Or are you a bench player or a spectator? Do you even know what your best really is?

Whatever the answer is, you must set standards, goals, and/or expectations for yourself. You must know your worth. You must have pride in yourself. You must reach beyond the status quo and exceed all expectations. In the end you have to want to be that "pure player".

It's Okay To Be Fake....

No seriously, it's okay to be fake. As it has been said before, life is a stage and you are just a character fulfilling  the roll of your lifetime. Here's the disclaimer: You Must... I repeated You Must know yourself in order for this to work. So after you have established who you are, you can use this technique to handle stress. 

Now the goal of this method is to remove yourself from hostile situations. The secret to this method is to ultimately get your counterpart to act or reacted the way you want or need them to. Now what I am about to say is not unfamiliar. Here it is... Kindness. The role that you have to fake is kindness. You have heard sayings such as "kill them with kindness" and "you can attract more bees with honey then vinegar". The truth is these sayings are correct. Think about it, it is hard to be mean to a nice person. 

This is the role. This is your moment.  This is your performance of your lifetime.  Now here is the trick, your niceness has to be genuine. Or at least it needs to seem genuine. Some will call it "faking it until you make it", I call it channeling your inner niceness. Now this may sounds easy, but you have to stay in character. You cannot revert back into the "keep it real" you (please refer to "When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong"). You cannot sound condescending, or fake. If you do you have failed. 

You may think..."if I assume this nice role people will walk right over me". No! No I say, that is farther from the truth. You do not let this person walk over you, you just say the same thing in a nice voice. By doing so, you are controlling your emotions thus controlling the conversation. Showing anger, frustration, or aggravation reveals weakness and people will sense this.

Having control of your emotions also allows you to control your stress levels. A stressless life will better your mental health as well as physical health. One more thing, I must warn you this method is best used at work or around people who do not know you as well.

So beginning today let's not call this fakeness lets call it ACTING!